Entrepreneurs and Marriage - a match made in....

“Know when to lead and know when to step back”  Lars Ulrich / Metallica

I’ve been building Rotary Digital for eight years and counting, alongside my partner Tim.  Can’t lie. I still pinch myself. We’ve built such a great company, one that has exceeded my every expectation. 

Of course, we had no idea what to expect at first, but we had a feeling from the very first issue that we were on to something.  Tim and I were very aligned with our goals, and we both had the added bonus of being in the autumn of our careers.  That allowed us to approach this company with measured care.  We set out to create a niche business focused solely on reaching affluent men and working with unique D2C brands.

But with any good idea there are always challenges as you try to improve.  Lots of ups and downs, lots of trial and error, lots of wins and losses.  It reminds me of being married. If you want it to last, you need to remember some key things.

I am not a marriage counselor or an entrepreneurial expert, but I know the following has worked for me:

Recognize each other's strengths - When you have a significant other, you lean on each other's strengths.  For instance, in my marriage, my wife managed the finances, and I focused on making sure I was bringing home a paycheck each week…(or two or every few months the many times I was fired).

It’s the same approach in business.

Tim and I both had different skill sets that complimented each other.  Tim comes from an ecommerce background and built a successful website, Cool Material.  My background is in sales and marketing, primarily. We knew early on to focus on the right things to work on together but to lean on each other’s strengths in order to grow the company.  

Tip:  Stay in your lane.  Lean into your own strengths.  Don't pretend to be an expert in something you are not.  Recognize what you both do well and allow each person the room to own that part of the partnership.

Get comfortable challenging each other - Man, this is still a work in progress in both my marriage and at work.  You’d think as a seller I would love these challenges, but I was more of a “you attract bees with honey” kind of guy.  Classic middle child who never wanted to rock the boat.

If something was hard, I’d prefer to just lay low and assume it would work out.  That’s not good in a relationship or building a company, ducking your head and hoping it fixes itself. If something doesn’t feel right, you need to challenge that person in the right way. You don’t have to get ornery or react quickly (still working on this), but you do have to be willing to address the elephant in the room.

Tip: Take a moment to remember you both want the same thing. Success. It’s such a simple way to reframe the noise in your head. Whether it’s a successful company or marriage, take a step back and realize you both have the same goals and aspirations.  When you take the time to appreciate the other person, most challenging discussions are far easier and more amicable than what you envisioned in your head. 

Truly put yourself in the other person's shoes - My biggest achilles heel is that I assume others think like I do.  That’s a bad mistake. If they did, why would we want that anyway?  It's redundant. Tim sees many challenges slightly differently than I do based on his experience and personality.  In a relationship or marriage, it’s a good thing to have different perspectives because you can arrive at a solution that works for all.

Tip: One of the best ways to see this (and again, still not a master at it) is to let things breathe. Establish the challenge in front of you, recognize that you both want the same thing, and appreciate opposing ideas.  Coming at it from that angle puts you in such a better headspace and allows both of you to approach the challenge with your guard down versus up. 

Admit when you are wrong - Anyone married or in a relationship knows the challenge of this one.  I have actually gotten better at this. Pride gets in the way when you are younger, but as you mature one of the best things you can do is admit when you are wrong or don’t have the answers. 

As we’ve grown the company, I have recognized the strengths that helped us get to this point are not necessarily the ones that will get us to the next level.

When you can admit you don’t know or are wrong, you wind up working together to arrive at the right decision without all the fireworks. Remain stubborn, and you are likely to run both the marriage and the company into the ground.

Tip:   I used to call this a soft opening in sales. Admit upfront that you don’t know the answer or that the idea may not work but you want what’s best.  This allows your partners to not feel defensive or challenged and come at the problem from the right view point.

Always work on it - Running a company, like marriage, is always a work in progress.  There are always ways to make it better, always things to work on, and always opportunities to improve. These are good things, and if you approach them with a positive and open attitude, you are more likely to see the sunshine and not be buried in the clouds.

And yeah, I’m still working on it.

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I’m one of the founders of Rotary Digital. I’m an entrepreneur and advertising veteran for 30+ years counting. I’m married with three beautiful kids and one day hope to make art full time and continue to eat at Whole Foods.